TikTok Trend Watch: Email like a man
Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg recently made waves when he said workplaces need to bring back more “masculine” energy. While it’s not entirely clear what he means by that, some workers have taken to TikTok to show their interpretations of acting more masculine at work.
One micro trend involves women editing their emails to sound more like their male colleagues — eliminating any softening terms like “sorry”, “just” and of course, exclamation points.
In one video, user @corporatespiritguide starts with an original email: “Good Afternoon John, I hope you’re doing well! I wanted to see if you could provide me an update on the progress of the attached project when it’s convenient for you. No rush – just looking to stay in the loop and ensure everything is on track for the deadline. Let me know if there is anything I can assist with as well.”
She changes it to: John, provide me an update on the attached project when it’s convenient for you. The deadline is in two days.”
“Many women unconsciously use language that softens their message as a way to sound more agreeable or non-confrontational,” said Guy Thornton, founder of Practice Aptitude Tests. “While the intent may be positive and as a way to avoid coming across as assertive, this habit often undermines confidence in professional communication.”
This dynamic is part of a larger trend coinciding with the rise of women in the workforce over the past few decades, with many trying to find their place and understand what traits best serve them and which don’t in the business world.
“It’s been going on for the past 70 years, that women will periodically adopt behaviors that are stereotypically assumed to be masculine, but in reality, are just simply human,” said Ronald Levant, a professor of psychology at the University of Akron, former president of the American Psychological Association, and author of “The Problem with Men.”
But acting more “masculine” and shying away from more stereotypically feminine traits won’t serve them well, especially when it comes to those vying for leadership positions.
In fact, the soft skills women possess like empathy and relationship building can be their ultimate strength in modern workplaces, while men are often raised and socialized to suppress normal, healthy feelings that can result in an inability to understand and appropriately respond to the emotions of others – especially at work, according to workplace experts.
“For women to abandon skills that they have in abundance is a mistake, in my view,” Levant said.
Levant points to a 2020 study from the Harvard Business Review which analyzes performance reviews from men and women leaders and which leadership traits both groups scored on. Women were rated more positively on 13 of the 19 metrics, displaying greater interpersonal skills like the ability to inspire and motivate, communicate powerfully, collaborate and build relationships than male leaders. The only category where men outscore women is in their technical/ professional expertise, though the difference was hardly statistically significant.
“Based on our data they want leaders who are able to pivot and learn new skills; who emphasize employee development even when times are tough; who display honesty and integrity; and who are sensitive and understanding of the stress, anxiety, and frustration that people are feeling. Our analysis shows that these are traits that are more often being displayed by women,” the study’s authors wrote.
While the TikTok trend is just a small example of women attempting to act more masculine at work, it isn’t necessarily harmful – so long as they don’t abandon their other strengths that are more stereotypically feminine.
“I think it is harmful in the sense of perpetuating gender stereotypes, but it’s also helpful to bring awareness to an uncomfortable reality,” said Danaya Wilson, CEO of BetterCertify, an environmental safety, compliance, and professional training company:
“Instead of gendering traits, we really need to look at what effective communication just looks like,” Wilson said. “It’s better to communicate directly, with brevity, and focus on information exchange, but we don’t have to necessarily align this with masculinity anymore.”