Chronic complainers, loud talkers, lunch thieves: How to manage annoying coworkers
Allan, a designer, and his workmates were perpetually exasperated by Joan. She was a loud talker and a masterful complainer and an all-around aggravating person to be around. She also happened to be their boss.
Whenever Joan would commence with her grating routine, they just gritted their teeth and kept their heads down — even when she, dealing with babysitting issues, was forced to bring her young child to the office.
Although they worked in cramped quarters, everyone made the best of the situation. Until the day she got a little too comfortable and began changing the baby’s dirty diaper — right on top of the desk, within easy whiffing distance of the rest of the team.
“We couldn’t believe it,” Allan recalled. “Everybody just sort of groaned and walked out together.”
With the festive season in full swing, the workplace doesn’t always feel so festive. End-of-year stress can run high and work relationships can be strained.
Especially if you have to deal with a Joan.
Whether it’s the one who changes a toxic nappy or hums along with the office Muzak or invades your personal space — or the perpetual grump (call them the “Office Grinch” at this time of year) — we’ve all had to work with “that person.” In fact, a new study by AI-based career tool Kickresume reveals that 85% of employees have had coworkers who make them want to scream.
But they can be more than just an annoyance. Kickresume’s survey of nearly 3,000 employees globally found that such relationships can significantly impact productivity, with nearly 6 in 10 respondents reporting that it directly affects their work performance. And with so many organizations adopting hybrid work arrangements, the phenomenon of the irritating colleague pervades both physical and digital spaces.
What constitutes the most objectionable behavior? The survey identified stealing credit as most problematic, cited by one-third of respondents, followed closely behind by micromanagers (32%), chronic complainers (30%) and people who invade your personal space (30%). Other big irritants: lunch thieves, chatterboxes and loud talkers.
More than half those surveyed by Kickresume (53%) report that the hybrid work model has at least somewhat reduced their exposure to annoying colleagues. That said, the virtual office has brought its own set of challenges, with 4 in 10 employees saying they experience bothersome behavior via email and messaging platforms like Slack.
Check the mirror
The issue, according to workplace experts, is not so much the annoying colleague (an inevitability) but the way we choose to handle them.
“People often avoid direct confrontation, which shows that many workplaces might lack good communication training and conflict resolution resources,” explained Peter Duris, CEO of Kickresume. “Fixing these issues could make employees happier and create a more supportive work environment.”
Brianne Rush, vp of operations at marketing agency Kuno Creative, sees our dealing with irritating colleagues as “a test of emotional intelligence — your ability to manage your own emotions while understanding and navigating the emotions of others.”
In managing difficult workplace relationships, Rush advises establishing clear boundaries and focusing on controlling one’s own responses versus trying to change the behavior of others. “Use empathy to transform tensions into understanding,” she said.
Social scientist Joseph Grenny offers this four-point framework for addressing workplace conflict — beginning with a look in the mirror:
Shift your perspective. “Think hard about whether you’ve ever received feedback about being strong-willed or too wedded to your opinions,” he said. “The truth is that the person you are describing is all of us, at least sometimes.”
Practice self-reflection. Consider how your own behaviors might be enabling or contributing to the situation.
Prioritize direct communication. Address issues through clear, specific dialogue. For example, “Hey, I wanted to chat with you about something that’s getting in the way of us working well together …”
Consider alternatives. If the situation remains untenable, be proactive about exploring other opportunities in or outside the organization.
The role of leadership
Annie Rosencrans, director of people and culture at HCM platform HiBob, emphasizes the role management plays in addressing workplace tensions. “Managers should set an example by countering negativity with optimism, recognition and reinforcing a problem-solving culture,” she said. That includes directly addressing the chronic complainers, those resistant to feedback and employees who struggle with change.
Like Grenny, Matthew Franzyshen, business development manager at IT services company Ascendant Technologies, believes the art of communication may well be the answer.
“We are all adults in the workplace, and things like these should be handled with maturity and professionalism,” he said. “A calm, private conversation with the co-worker you’re annoyed with can help clarify any misunderstandings.”
After all, in the end, even the Grinch changed his ways.