WTF is emotional proximity? (and why it’s critical for hybrid models)
Most people need some form of connection with other coworkers to enjoy their job.
Those personal connections typically lead to better business outcomes by boosting engagement, collaboration and belonging. But being physically close to others isn’t enough to make people feel connected.
Instead, staff need to feel closer emotionally, workplace experts say. While physical proximity is a state of “being seen,” emotional proximity is “feeling seen” — where employees feel they are valued, important and have an impact on others, according to a report from Gartner.
Why is it so important to determine the difference?
The two are often conflated, and physical proximity can eventually lead to emotional proximity — but not always. “The more you’re around a person, assuming all goes well, that does build some connection,” said Kristi Leimgruber, a behavioral scientist at coaching platform BetterUp. “Though it takes longer.”
In new hybrid environments, staff are still struggling to collaborate, leading employers to pay more attention to what exactly helps build strong connections in the workplace, both online and in real life, and what role they play in helping foster them.
So what makes coworkers feel connected?
Not all social interactions are equal and certain ones better strengthen bonds than others. Doing something different outside the office or sharing a new and unique experience with a fellow coworker is one way staff can bond. ‘“Shared experiences are really foundational to social connections at work,” Leimgruber said.
Being vulnerable with others is also important — along with feeling safe enough to open up and share more about one’s self. Managers play a key role in modeling vulnerability to strengthen workplace relationships, Leimgruber said.
“It’s really easy to sort of curate this person that you want people to see. But when you spend more time and you let those guards down, that is the sort of secret sauce that builds those connections,” she said. “It’s just these things where you can kind of laugh at yourself and show your humanity in a way that we don’t often get.”
Another way people bond is through shared interests or when they are facing similar circumstances outside of work. Accordingly, Employee Resource Groups, or ERGS, can be a great place for staff to better connect with coworkers, said Ryan Culkin, chief counseling officer at counseling platform Thriveworks.
How can this be encouraged without feeling forced though?
In the hybrid working world, a key part of fostering better work connections is the intentionality component. Last-minute happy hours or outside activities likely won’t be feasible for many staff, so planning ahead and being intentional is key, Culkin said.
“Activities that are outside of work hours, that are sort of meant to be social or team bonding activities really exclude a lot of people who maybe might want to participate, but they have to go pick up their kids, or have other activities outside of work,” Leimgruber said.
At the same time, employers should also avoid “mandatory fun” as Leimgruber calls it. One example is Zoom happy hours which took off during the pandemic, where staff felt obligated to attend and forced to share about themselves.
“So there’s a fine line between that and something that’s really meaningful and valuable,” she said. “If you just give people space when it comes to something that we all do naturally, people will do it in ways that they feel most comfortable.”
Any other tips?
Gartner’s report offers a bunch of steps employers can take to help staff boost emotional proximity:
- Create empathy, not just interest, for the mission of the organization within employees.
- Identify the moments that matter for employees in the cultural experience as the ones where employees are most likely to feel their own importance and value within the organization.
- Guide teams to identify which moments of emotional proximity are enhanced when they are shared in person.