WTF is hey-hanging? (and why is it stressing everyone out)
There’s a new term for a common and often dreaded communication style that makes some workers spiral — hey-hanging.
It’s when a boss, coworker or client messages you something along the lines of “hey – call me EOD” with no further details. It could even be a message that just says “hey” and nothing else. While “hey” itself is a fairly standard greeting, the added element of leaving one hanging after reaching out is putting undue stress on many workers, especially Gen Z.
Over 60% of Gen Z workers report having some kind of anxiety disorder, according to a report from OneDigital, an HR consulting firm, and “hey-hanging” can make their minds go to the worst places. It could be fake kindness, or maybe they’ll later deliver news about layoffs or performance concerns. But it could also be a simple, harmless question that needs to be talked through.
Why is it a problem?
Hey-hanging speaks to the larger issue of the shifting ways we communicate in more virtual modern workplaces, and the importance of being mindful about preferred communication styles that help foster psychological safety and keep staff engaged and productive at their jobs.
Courtney Napoles, an engineering director at Grammarly who leads the language research team and linguists, has seen this trend happen a lot recently, she said. It’s likely because communicating asynchronously is tricky, and “with the barrage of messages and notifications we get across countless platforms at work, it sometimes feels impossible to get a colleague’s attention,” she said.
“Hey hanging is a direct response to this communication overload — it’s an attempt to break through the distractions and have a connected, collaborative human moment,” she said. “Reaching out with a quick ‘hey’ is an understandable impulse, but trying to cut through the noise with ambiguity doesn’t ease the overwhelm.”
“Often, in the time it takes to finish a follow-up to your ‘hey,’ a new notification has popped up demanding attention and you’ve left your colleague hanging. Without additional context, this simple message can lead to confusion, overthinking, and unnecessary stress, hindering effective communication and even hurting your relationships,” she said.
And there are a couple different factors driving this. The first is that four different generations are currently active in the workforce, “so employers now are trying their hardest to have to try to tailor all of these different communication styles,” said Jen Humphrey, vp of HR consulting at OneDigital.
And the pandemic and remote work of course had massive impacts on the way we socialize and communicate. “If people are relearning how to reenter the workforce, again, with continual communication, I think managers and organizations just need to be aware of that and keep dialogue open with employees to understand how they best communicate, and how did they best receive information, so that we can avoid maybe some of these pitfalls as managers,” Humphrey said.
What can be done?
Some workers have learned that there’s little you can do to change the way others behave, but you can try to control your own response when it comes to “hey-hanging”
Laviet Joaquin, marketing head at WiFi network device provider TP-Link, has dealt with hey-hanging many times in her job and now looks at it as a chance to get prepared, rather than spiral. First she refreshes herself on all the recent interactions or current projects relevant to the person who messaged her to help her better anticipate the potential topic of conversation. But sometimes, if the lack of information makes her nervous and affects her preparation, “I like to send a follow-up text asking for a short response to make sure I’m prepared for our conversation.”
Ultimately, taking a step back is key, said Humphrey. “It’s taking a step back, and recognizing that everyone is in a very high paced, multitasking type of world right now, trying to fulfill a lot of different needs,” she said.
“Maybe get yourself to take a breath and pause and take the stance that until you know what the individual is reaching out about or asking – to not automatically go to an assumption that there’s something wrong.”
Levity can also help, so long as it stays professional. Shoshanna Hecht, a therapist and executive and personal coach recently got a message along the lines of hey-hanging from someone she knows more personally, to which she responded “hmm, ominous.”
And of course you can ask for further details and clarification to better prepare yourself. You can ask whether there’s anything you should specifically be prepared to discuss, or if there are any materials to go over that they’ll need to share.
But in any event, the sender can always reply, and often does, with “just bring yourself!”